Meet Me At Goshinboku
by Elusion
Summary: The difference a goodbye can make.


Meet Me at Goshinboku

By Naoko Cat Girl

>>>

She stared at her reflection in the small window separating her from the world beyond. Floating in the fields running along so fast were her eyes, two sad dark spots in the bright sky and green fields. Her face, a pale streak, much changed by the years that had passed since she last viewed this scenery from a train window. How many years? Five? And yet it had seemed an eternity, each stitch in time a painful day passed by without him. Her heart beat a little faster with every mile that passed by, with every bit closer to her destination. She had thought nothing could be more painful than leaving, but returning hurt so bad she couldn't breathe. Five years.

She frowned, looking down at her hands, twisting in her lap. Had she changed that much? She idly wondered how she would have changed, how different things would have been if... but quickly stopped herself. She had gone through this a million times over in her mind, questioning and second guessing, wishing and yearning so much to go back in time and work things out. Such thoughts would only bring despair.

To go back in time... it was ironic. All those trips across the well, and then when she needed so badly to turn the wheels of time, something she had taken so easily for granted, it was impossible.

Time will heal all wounds, she remembered bitterly, feeling something in her burn with fury. What about the wounds time itself caused? Would it heal those too?

She closed her eyes, clenching her teeth and forcing the sudden rise of anger within her to fade away.

It had been a bad idea, coming back. She wished she was back home, in her apartment, watching television or cooking or studying or talking with friends. She could maybe have called up Hojo, perhaps even gone on a date with him. She wished she was anywhere but on the train, speeding closer and closer to her past, feeling like the years were peeling back, feeling herself regress to when old wounds were still raw and bleeding.

It had happened so suddenly... She had known the well was powered by the Shikon no Tama, but she had never really thought about it. She had never considered the possibility that if the jewel was used, it would no longer work. A simple oversight that cost her more than words could tell.

He was going to come live in her time. He had sacrificed his youkai half for her, for the chance that they could live together. A chance that was wasted.

Why it turned out that way was a question that tormented her for years. Perhaps she belonged in her world, and he in his, and that was all there was to it. Perhaps it would have upset some critical balance in time. She believed it was simply too good to be true- that being with him was a heaven that couldn't exist on earth.

And so she had been given a hell. She had grown pale and withdrawn, until she became as sick as her grandfather always said she was, until she had tried to take her own life, until her family was forced to move away and seek therapy for her. She fought against the move, somehow clinging to the hope that some day he would find his way across time. He never did. She knew he never would.

And so slowly she learned how to live again, how to enjoy things without feeling guilt, how to think of him without bursting into tears. The years slipped by, and she began to heal.

And then she felt it was time to return. Her family protested, insisting it would only cause her more pain. She was getting so much better, wouldn't going back only make things worse? What was she trying to prove?

She had been silent, having asked herself the same things, unable to come up with answers. She only knew she wanted to come back... just for a little while. She just needed to be there today, five years from the day her life had changed. She just wanted to feel close to Inuyasha one last time, to say the goodbyes she had never given.

The train slowed to a halt, and a voice announced they had arrived at Tokyo. Kagome rose, gathering her belongings with trembling hands.

It was only a taxi drive away now, the house she had grown up in. The family shrine, abandoned and painfully empty. A taxi ride that seemed both excruciatingly long, and far too short. She again felt herself overlapping with her fifteen year old self.

Memories flooded her as the house came into sight. They were so forceful, so real, so close... she fought to push them back.

"Looks like no one's here, miss," the taxi driver said as she stepped out, looking uncertainly at her. "Will you be okay here alone?" He looked slightly worried, in a kind way. She smiled weakly at him and nodded. "Yes, thank you. You may go." She paid him, and he glanced at her again, but shrugged and drove off.

She took a deep breath, and approached the house. It looked so lonely and old... the home where her family had dwelt for generations, until they were forced to move for her sake. Yet they hadn't sold it. They hadn't even rented it out, though they certainly could have used the money from it. She suspicioned it was because her family, like her, still had the faintest remnant of hope in their hearts... something unspoken, but all of them were feeling... that maybe, just maybe, there would be a way... that somehow he would find a way to bridge the gap of time and make his way back to her.

It was ridiculous, and they all knew it. Yet the house was still empty... the door to the well house still open... and a paper on the front door telling their new address.

She paused at the door, but didn't go in. Instead, she turned and found herself walking, as if drawn by something invisible, to the back yard. Her heart was pounding, and she didn't know why.

>>>

Her heart pounded as she panted heavily, leaning against a nearby tree for support, her heart racing as the crashing in the bushes grew nearer.

"Hurry, Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted, grabbing her hand as he ran past her, his black hair streaming in the wind. She followed him, struggling not to trip as he went too fast for her to keep up. He dared not slow, however. A dark laugh echoed behind them.

"Foolish humans," the youkai chuckled. "Running will get you nowhere." His huge serpentine body slithered on, crushing trees and brush as he went, tongue flickering in the air as he tasted the air for sign of his prey.

Kagome's lungs burned for air as her legs grew weak from exhaustion. She stumbled, losing her grip on Inuyasha's hand. He stopped to help her up, when the youkai's head crashed through nearby trees, raising to strike. Kagome screamed, and Inuyasha threw himself over her, rolling the two of them away just as giant fangs pierced the ground where they were. The youkai struggled for a few moments, his fangs deep in the ground, his prey not under them. He didn't manage to miss entirely, though. Inuyasha gasped in pain as one of the fangs grazed his leg, leaving a gash several inches long there. Without hesitation he picked Kagome up and continued to run. With every step, blood gushed from his leg. He grimaced as he felt the warm sticky liquid trickle down to his toes, soaking his pant leg. The shock was beginning to wear off, and every step was torturous.

"Kagome," he panted. "You must go on. Hurry, go before the well closes."

"I won't leave you!" she insisted, clinging tightly to him.

"You must," he said, beginning to falter in step. "You must or we'll both die. Hurry, Kagome. Go through the well. I'll meet you at Goshinboku, I promise. Just like the day we met," he said with a sad smile, and set her down.

She stood there, trembling, as the youkai drew near again. Inuyasha's eyes widened, and he turned to her once again.

"Run!" he shouted, and Kagome looked at him, pausing for a moment, and then obeyed.

She ran through the woods, past familiar trees where so many youkai had lurked before, so many adventures had happened. She ran, and ran, until they became a blur, like the memories flashing through her mind. The battles, the wounds, the fights, the tears, the laughter, the fun, the friends, the enemies... everything that had happened to her since that fateful day she followed Buyo into the well house, all being relived in a moment as she backtracked through the woods she had wandered, in search of her home. She reached a clearing, and spotted there the well. The well that had started it all, the well that would end all things. She paused at the rim, and closing her eyes tight, she leapt in.

She felt the ground for a moment, then it seemed to melt away into an emptiness of swirling light, where she floated gently, until, beneath her feet, she felt the ground growing solid again.

She was back in her world.

She scrambled out of the well, and paused, waiting, her breath caught in her lungs, waiting for Inuyasha. Waiting.

Suddenly, she knew. She peered into the depths of the well, and taking a deep breath, leapt. The ground met her at the bottom. There was nothing but hard, unyielding earth. She burst into tears as her fears were confirmed. The well had closed.

>>>

Kagome took a deep breath and turned around the corner of the house, revealing the well house in one corner of the yard, and in the other, the great time tree, it's branches huge and spreading, covered with white blossoms. It was a beautiful, but bitter sight. Kagome let out the breath she had been holding, as her heart sank. She had allowed her childish, foolish heart to hope. She walked to it, and caressed the spot where a hanyou had been sealed hundred of years ago.

"You promised," she whispered. "You promised you'd be here."

She leaned against the rough bark, and suddenly the tears came. She sat down at the base of the tree, the tears coming faster and faster until she couldn't stop weeping.

At long last, she felt immensely tired, her sobs slowly decreasing in volume until she let out a great sigh and slipped into darkness.

"Kagome?"

A whisper swirled the blackness, interrupting it's hypnotizing patterns, slowly waking her. She blinked as her eyes focused.

Before her stood a man, both familiar and stranger to her. Her eyes traced the jagged terrain of his face and body, muscular and rough, masculine and unkempt. There was something dear in his coarseness, lovable in the harsh lines of his face.

"Inuyasha," she breathed. He immediately embraced her, and a warmth rushed into the coldness of her heart. She gasped, and sudden pain crossed her features as she regretfully pushed him away.

"A dream," she said wearily. "Just another dream." She didn't dare look at him any longer, else her feelings betray her again.

"Close," he said, sounding wistful. "Look around." She did so, and all she could see around was a world of white fog. Puzzled, she turned around, and noticed the tree she was leaning against as the only visible thing besides Inuyasha and herself.

"We met here once... remember? Goshinboku. The tree that transcends time." His voice sounded slightly bitter.

"It's really you?" she asked, her voice small and childlike.

He brought his face close to hers, lifting her chin. She stared into his purple eyes, and saw within both overflowing joy and a terrible sadness, but most of all, overwhelming love.

"It's you," she breathed in wonder. "Oh Inuyasha, it's really you." She hugged him tightly, as tears began to well up in her eyes again.

"I missed you, Kagome... so much... I..." Inuyasha trailed off, at a loss for words.

"I missed you too. Oh Inuyasha, I'm so sorry. I never should have left, I never should have gone ahead."

"Baka, I'm the one who told you to go. It was me who shouldn't have been so proud. I thought I could make it. I never thought..." he trailed off.

They sat in silence, holding each other, reality setting in once again.

"Kaede said it was because of the jewel." Inuyasha finally said. "The well worked because of the jewel, remember? So when I used it to become human, the well just didn't work anymore. How you even made it over, I don't know."

"I think... I think it's because I came from here," Kagome said quietly. "In all those stories about time travel, the person who does it always causes some problem, changes things and messes up the future. And they always return to their world. I... I don't think I belonged there. And I think the well knew that."

"You belong with me. And I belong with you. Isn't that enough?" Inuyasha said bitterly.

Kagome was silent. "I wish it was. I really do." She looked up at him. "I should go."

"Go? Why?" he asked, startled.

"I can't stay here, Inuyasha. This isn't real. And every second I'm here makes it harder and harder to leave."

"After all this time... I finally got to see you. It's been so hard, Kagome."

"I know. If I stay, it'll just get harder. Please, Inuyasha," she closed her eyes and pulled away.

"Wait!" he cried, and she opened her eyes again. "I wanted to tell you... I wanted to tell you so bad, and I never got the chance. And then you left. I'm so sorry I never told you... Kagome, I love you."

She smiled. "Is that all, silly? I already knew." She drew closer to him. "I love you too, Inuyasha." She leaned in, and kissed him.

The fog whirled around them, and Inuyasha began to fade from view. Kagome felt a wind rush towards her, blinding her, and she blinked, finding herself slumped against a tree trunk. She yawned, surprised to find it was much later in the day.

She picked herself off of the ground, brushing herself off. She paused and looked at Goshinboku.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for giving us one last moment together." A breeze swept by, and the tree branches rustled as if in answer.

She gave one last look at the tree. "Goodbye, Inuyasha," she whispered. "You kept your promise after all."

She walked away without looking back.

>>>

_Time takes a hold  
I know you're waiting  
But now you're fading from me  
Hope against hope  
I heard you calling out  
But now you're falling out of reach_

_Come back alright  
Come back alright  
Come back I can't let you go_

_I want you to know  
But you're already  
Already gone aren't you  
Already gone aren't you  
Already I can't let you go_

_Hope against hope  
I know you're waiting  
But now you're fading from me  
Time takes a hold  
I hear you calling out  
But now you're falling out of reach_

_"Already Gone" by Further Seems Forever_

>>>

A/N: Inspiration comes mostly from Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. I've been wanting to do an Inuyasha fanfic with a similar ending ever since I read the series, although, I kept changing it so much it doesn't even resemble it anymore. I also just wanted to do a sad ending of Inuyasha, because I'm sure Rumiko Takahashi won't.

Also, in the first movie, Kagome and Inuyasha communicate through Goshinboku. So there is basis for it, in case you were wondering.

My first ever sad-ending story. I hope you liked it.

Naoko


End file.
